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[Rippy]

Could you do custom artwork on the sheath? I'm thinking a bear with a lightning bolt shooting out of its rear end might look nice.

Alan

Alan, my leather work is limited to leather stamps like a bunny or a squirrel. I checked Tandy Leather to see if they had a bear with a lightning bolt shooting out it's arse but no such luck. The lady on the phone pretended that she didn't know what I was talking about. I think she just wanted to jerk me around a little. Do you have any more suggestions for Mem's sheath?

 

[Guest]

I can think of ways that package could have been worse.

Oh, it could have been much worse, including graphics or brown stains.

But the content were, in the recent vernacular, a Major Award; an 11 laminate piece of ash steam bent into a complete U shape that Doug needs for some boatwork, and I wanted to make sure it actually arrived without the USPS calling out the HazMat team.

Those packages are fun for me in several ways. One is thinking up some embarrassing, disgusting or kinky faux label, a thought process that works best late at night when I am about 4 beers and two bowls in the bag, hence the occasional typos on the label.

The other fun part is taking them to my local country post office. The staff there starts laughing and gathers around in anticipation as soon as I walk in the door. That wasn’t always so.

When I sent Doug the first fake-label package a few years ago I walked into the post office with it clutched against my chest with the label on the backside hidden and carefully placed it on the scale with the front address upright and facing the clerk. I hadn’t considered that she should flip it over when stamping it.

I don’t remember what that one was, but she looked at the label, and then looked up at me with a horrified expression. I had to stammer an explanation, “No, no, it’s really nothing like that, it’s a joke on a friend of mine. . . .”

I know my post office enjoys the work. Hell, I know everyones name at my post office now. And I know Doug’s mail lady Tara get’s a laugh out of them as well. I can only guess at how those packages are received at mail processing centers along the way.

Hey Memaquay, I need your address.

 

[memaquay]

Hey Memaquay, I need your address.

I dunno, I don't think I remember it!

 

[Mihun09]

Hey Memaquay, I need your address.

I dunno, I don't think I remember it!

I can help with that...

 

[Alan Gage]

Alan, my leather work is limited to leather stamps like a bunny or a squirrel. I checked Tandy Leather to see if they had a bear with a lightning bolt shooting out it's arse but no such luck. The lady on the phone pretended that she didn't know what I was talking about. I think she just wanted to jerk me around a little. Do you have any more suggestions for Mem's sheath?

That's too bad. Seems like it would be a popular one but I guess not. Maybe they were just sold out.

How about a samsquanch with a lightning bolt shooting out of its arse?

If they don't have that one either then I guess I'm out of ideas. Just go with the bunny....with a lightning bolt shooting out of its arse.

Alan

 

[Mihun09]

It shouldn't be too difficult to make a stamp like that.

 

[Guest]

Maybe something subtle, like doing Memaquay’s initials using the Spam font.

Cooper Medium BT is pretty close.

 

[Mihun09]

Molding his initials in Spam, then hardening it and mail it...

 

[dave0]

Well, here's why this board is so unique. First off the craftsmanship on all levels, the fact that Spam is a common theme, a hand built knife, canoes coming out of the blue, Robin, that are keepers, the barbs at each other that are almost respectful. The fact that s*&tstains on a package were discussed gives me hope that this will be one of the premiere sites for canoeing. So Mihun09, how to ya harden Spam?

Oh yeah, Mem, McCrea still needs your address! Don't be shy now!

dougd

 

[Mihun09]

Well, here's why this board is so unique. First off the craftsmanship on all levels, the fact that Spam is a common theme, a hand built knife, canoes coming out of the blue, Robin, that are keepers, the barbs at each other that are almost respectful. The fact that s*&tstains on a package were discussed gives me hope that this will be one of the premiere sites for canoeing. So Mihun09, how to ya harden Spam?

Oh yeah, Mem, McCrea still needs your address! Don't be shy now!

dougd

I imagine that considering Spam has a high fat content, if one were to dry it, perhaps in a microwave or just sun baked, then replace the fat with resin, we could indeed create "Mem" in Spam for eternity. It will be awhile before it is warm enough here for sun drying though, may need to make it a Summer project which would extend the Major Awards thread another 6 months or so.

I figure Mem is safe from McCrea since we have Canada Customs to intervene with creative packaging issues.

 

[Rippy]

Let's see, as a result of the contest I recently acquired an "address of interest" to Mr McCrea, do I want to play? On the plus side it might be worth something in barter. On the negative, he's probably on a FBI watch list for something no doubt, don't want guilt by association. When you play with fire you could get burned. I might end up tangled up in one of his twisted webs. The guy is retired with way too much time on his hands to scheme. In a war of wits I'm afraid I'd lose. My biggest weapon is my insanity, it catches people off guard and it keeps people off balance around me as I am unpredictable at any given moment. But it is spontaneous and requires the right set up to work. Mike is much to careful to lower his guard. I would wager he has his next three moves planned already. Me, I'm only in reaction. You now what? We don't know who he really is. I bet he's CIA. Oh dang, if that's the case, I've just outed him in which case you won't hear anymore from me. Mem, I'm sorry I didn't get your knife to you before the evil canyon fairy snuffed me.

 

[Odyssey]

Shaping and drying Spam sounds too much like playing with Play Doh. My grandson likes to eat that stuff. He even has his favourite colour flavours. My health conscience daughter would never let me substitute Spam Doh, no matter how ingenious and fun it sounds to play with our food. Drying it would be such a waste of a good ...thing. Although a sculpted figure of memquay made entirely out of Spam...a Spam sculpture...has artful opportunities.
Think...





I'd be careful mem, I bet dougd still has that empty labelled box, and is just looking for a new home for it. It's anybody's guess whether the leak freak package would slip through customs. (Sorry. I just had to say that.)

 

[Guest]

I bet dougd still has that empty labelled box

I believe that Doug has carefully preserved all of the embarrassing faux labels for a Wall of Shame in his new shop.

Either that or someday I’m going to receive a refrigerator sized box covered with the entire collection.

Oh crap

 

[Rippy]

Let's see, as a result of the contest I recently acquired an "address of interest" to Mr McCrea, do I want to play? On the plus side it might be worth something in barter.

What was I even thinking! Barter with him so he could hit me with one of his evil package lables? He must be some sort of spell casting wizard or something.

 

[dave0]

Ok, Here's the next contest! I will build a new one piece paddle out of butternut and ash for the winner. It may even look like a paddle when I'm done too! All ya gotta do is submit your address and like Robin I'll draw it outta a hat to give to McCrea who I will provide with a lifelong supply of stamps for mailing! Depending on his mood and whatever he has in his shop to ship one could have as an extensive sample of his finely honed Post Office artwork as I have! And you get a paddle as well! Who's in? Disclaimer: I am not included due to limited shop wall space at this time due an overflow of previous PO artwork via CIA McCrea so the odds are with all who choose to participate!

dougd

 

[Guest]

Let's see, as a result of the contest I recently acquired an "address of interest" to Mr McCrea, do I want to play? On the plus side it might be worth something in barter. On the negative, he's probably on a FBI watch list for something no doubt, don't want guilt by association. When you play with fire you could get burned. I might end up tangled up in one of his twisted webs. The guy is retired with way too much time on his hands to scheme. In a war of wits I'm afraid I'd lose. My biggest weapon is my insanity, it catches people off guard and it keeps people off balance around me as I am unpredictable at any given moment. But it is spontaneous and requires the right set up to work. Mike is much to careful to lower his guard. I would wager he has his next three moves planned already. Me, I'm only in reaction. You now what? We don't know who he really is. I bet he's CIA. Oh dang, if that's the case, I've just outed him in which case you won't hear anymore from me. Mem, I'm sorry I didn't get your knife to you before the evil canyon fairy snuffed me.

After 35 years of working for the government you have busted my cover as the Canyon Fairy.

I have no doubt the Fed’s have a file on me. I lived with a bunch of Quaker anti-war activists in the early 70’s, and shared a house with 4 Iranian students in 1979 (Mohammad, Mohammad, Mohammad and Sirus. . . . I don’t miss the phone calls that started with “Hi, can I speak with Mohammad?”).

I have never FOIA asked to see my federal file, but a few years after high school a bunch of friends went to the Board of Education headquarters and looked through our school files. They were not kidding when they said that will go on your permanent record. Everything from grade school report cards to IQ test scores to teacher’s comments.

That was a hilarious day. My companions had, in their high school days, been some bad boys and some worse girls, and we spend an afternoon laughing and reading aloud excerpts from our files.

If you still live in the area where you went to school and have a day to kill I highly recommend that younger-you history lesson.