After 25 years I have learned to tell no lies, fibs or leave out the truth.
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Happy Apple Cider Day! 🍎🍵
Fibbing To Your Spouse About Canoe Stuff
- Thread starter Glenn MacGrady
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Aside from ppine, I find you all to be horrible people
At our house, anything of any size gets discussed first. Join finances, joint decisions. Of course, I’m possibly (probably
) worse than he is about toys. 
So that bit us severely yesterday, with the Wenonah sale. 1 Prism for him, 1 Voyager for me.
Aside from ppine, I find you all to be horrible people
At our house, anything of any size gets discussed first. Join finances, joint decisions. Of course, I’m possibly (probably
Congrats on your joint house's new Wenonahs. I guess ppine won't become a politician.
We just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this month and the finance system that was started before we got married is still holding up: All income goes into a common pot (The House Fund) from which all expenses are paid, then we get a monthly "personal allowance" that is set at the first of each year based on projected expenses. The House Fund expenditures are jointly decided, but on our personal expenditures the spouse has no say in.
I ordered my dream boat, a NorthStar Phoenix in BlackLite with wood trim, this week. It should be here in 6-8 weeks. Now I will need to sell some boats and rethink my selection of canoes to fit my boat storage! I am already over that limit.
Yes, I did tell her.
I ordered my dream boat, a NorthStar Phoenix in BlackLite with wood trim, this week. It should be here in 6-8 weeks. Now I will need to sell some boats and rethink my selection of canoes to fit my boat storage! I am already over that limit.
Yes, I did tell her.
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Married 44 years. Have always had separate finances although in joint accounts. She spends "her" money, I spend "my" money. We still discuss purchases with each other anyway. Even though I have bought some expensive toys over the years my wife trusts me as I always have lived within my means.
On the other hand lies of omission, hmmmmm. Might be guilty of some details of trips, excursions and activities in regards to risk.
On the other hand lies of omission, hmmmmm. Might be guilty of some details of trips, excursions and activities in regards to risk.
It’s possible there are some things she’s better off not knowing about, after it’s too late. Although, I tend to use the opportunity to scold and nag, in the hope of affecting his future choices. Does it work?
We're all walking different paths in the same forest.
We married young. Despite the fear-mongers and advice-givers it always seemed right to us. Still does after 45 years.
I could prattle on about marriage, secrets, convenience, and freedoms but I won't. Our relationship starts and ends with mutual respect. Respect begets trust, which is a bedrock for peace of mind and happiness. IMO. We've had separate bank accounts for many years as well as a joint account for bills. When I retired I closed out my separate financial thread and now throw my income into the joint. She often comes home with a new household treasure and me with a workshop or outdoor rec item. Neither of us question our motives nor expenditures. Raised eye brows and eye rolls are enough. Then we laugh it off and move on. 45 years and counting, but who's counting?
(This is our path and so far it suits us. It needn't be anyone else's.)
We married young. Despite the fear-mongers and advice-givers it always seemed right to us. Still does after 45 years.
I could prattle on about marriage, secrets, convenience, and freedoms but I won't. Our relationship starts and ends with mutual respect. Respect begets trust, which is a bedrock for peace of mind and happiness. IMO. We've had separate bank accounts for many years as well as a joint account for bills. When I retired I closed out my separate financial thread and now throw my income into the joint. She often comes home with a new household treasure and me with a workshop or outdoor rec item. Neither of us question our motives nor expenditures. Raised eye brows and eye rolls are enough. Then we laugh it off and move on. 45 years and counting, but who's counting?
(This is our path and so far it suits us. It needn't be anyone else's.)
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I've abstained from the conversation to this point as I have no hiding to do...
Happily divorced 15 years, very feral and absolutely unapologetic.
Happily divorced 15 years, very feral and absolutely unapologetic.
No, it just makes us more aware of what we need to omit next time.It’s possible there are some things she’s better off not knowing about, after it’s too late. Although, I tend to use the opportunity to scold and nag, in the hope of affecting his future choices. Does it work?
This conversation reminds me of the past! My first job after college (1989) was at a paper mill in a tiny town in the Wisconsin north woods. Loved the area! But the conversations were enlightening for a 24 year old girl raised on a farm by the most scrupulously honest and careful people you ever met. Farming meant that you didn’t ever know if you’d make any money in any given year. So Mom and Dad discussed everything, and never hid things from each other (well, not about money and purchases- definitely farm-related close calls!).
Anyway, I remember the guys at the mill discussing money, and how their wives didn’t have access to the checkbook. If they needed money for groceries, they had to ask their husbands. Women were not trusted!!! It was a horrifying situation out of the 1800s or something.
The reason? No mere mismanagement. At some point in the past, a wife from the town had left her husband and cleaned out all the accounts on her way out. The men were all terrified! No woman had access to the family funds, because they’d all rob you blind!
. Horrifying, yet oddly hilarious.
Anyway, I remember the guys at the mill discussing money, and how their wives didn’t have access to the checkbook. If they needed money for groceries, they had to ask their husbands. Women were not trusted!!! It was a horrifying situation out of the 1800s or something.
The reason? No mere mismanagement. At some point in the past, a wife from the town had left her husband and cleaned out all the accounts on her way out. The men were all terrified! No woman had access to the family funds, because they’d all rob you blind!
. Horrifying, yet oddly hilarious.
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As with anything else... individual mileage often varies.
In my case, I've always had little interest in money so, while married, she handled all finances. Pain in my butt doing it myself now but stuff happens.
In my case, I've always had little interest in money so, while married, she handled all finances. Pain in my butt doing it myself now but stuff happens.
My wife and I were married in 1986... at the time, we instituted a $50 rule... more than that, you declared your intent, it was discussed, and generally approved. Now, 37 years later, it's more like $75... but she's pretty tolerant of the habit, knowing I will drive her nuts if I don't get out. She was the one who dropped the money on my Nessmuk and fancy paddle. I found a nearby wood canvas, at the time already having 2 others, mentioned it out loud, and she said "if you really want it, buy it." I didn't.
The fibs I tell are more about how easy or hard something canoe related is going to be... I won't go into the longer story of why my city-princess decided to come with me on a couple trips, but I had to minimize dangers/fears/hardships. She's still mad about the portage over Low's Upper Dam, but was far more understanding after we used rented wheels to do it the second time, and very amenable to me buying a set now that she knows why.
Guess I'm lucky.
I support her chocolate habit without question...
The fibs I tell are more about how easy or hard something canoe related is going to be... I won't go into the longer story of why my city-princess decided to come with me on a couple trips, but I had to minimize dangers/fears/hardships. She's still mad about the portage over Low's Upper Dam, but was far more understanding after we used rented wheels to do it the second time, and very amenable to me buying a set now that she knows why.
Guess I'm lucky.
I support her chocolate habit without question...
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"Oh... I think it should take about 10 days..." And then I walk through the door 17 days later.... Time is more of a fib factor than money for me - the gear was all bought a long time ago, and good gear lasts a long time, and I will wear something down to the bone before I replace it, so I don't spend a lot on gear. Leaving the spouse to manage life and kids on her own for extended periods is my dilemma. For various reasons, I've taken to doing less day floats or long weekend floats and now focus my paddling itch on one or two bigger trips each year. And when I tell her how long I'll be gone, it's typically a very optimistic timetable. And since we almost never get home on time, she's learned not to expect great accuracy. The InReach helps - she can see I'm still alive, and she has the option of following our progress, and she can send passive aggressive messages about how late we get on the river ... and maybe if we started earlier in the day we'd be home sooner... and your daughters have been just delightful since you left...
But I don't do much else that's just for me, and I think she knows how good anticipating a trip is for my morale, so she's usually pretty good about letting me get away. I can't complain.
But I don't do much else that's just for me, and I think she knows how good anticipating a trip is for my morale, so she's usually pretty good about letting me get away. I can't complain.
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Love it. I'm pretty sure, for me, those would be as common as the "checking in- all is OK" that I send every night.
Well, I guess I have been very lucky in this regard. First, Chick has no interest in doing the finances so I've got that.
I spent some years in wholesale sporting goods and was fortunate to be able to trade product at about 20 trade shows a year. It was cheaper then shipping the product home so he boss said go for it. This filled 3/4's of my basement in a cost effective manner.
Then, during my final job before retirement I spent another 4 years on the road and the company paid mileage. We had planned on having everything paid off prior to retirement, which we did, so I had 2 kids out of college and no bills except for food/utilities/etc. Since I swapped out the 4x4 for a Corolla due to gas prices I was sipping gas to the point I had about $300/week extra. I thought this would be a good time to redo the canoe equipment, so after checking with Chick, that's what I did. Many people on this board have contributed to this buying frenzy.
That being said, there may have been a Orvis CFO, an Ari Hart and a couple of flyrods that mysteriously found a new home going back many years.
I spent some years in wholesale sporting goods and was fortunate to be able to trade product at about 20 trade shows a year. It was cheaper then shipping the product home so he boss said go for it. This filled 3/4's of my basement in a cost effective manner.
Then, during my final job before retirement I spent another 4 years on the road and the company paid mileage. We had planned on having everything paid off prior to retirement, which we did, so I had 2 kids out of college and no bills except for food/utilities/etc. Since I swapped out the 4x4 for a Corolla due to gas prices I was sipping gas to the point I had about $300/week extra. I thought this would be a good time to redo the canoe equipment, so after checking with Chick, that's what I did. Many people on this board have contributed to this buying frenzy.
That being said, there may have been a Orvis CFO, an Ari Hart and a couple of flyrods that mysteriously found a new home going back many years.
not fibbing, but not prediscussing either.
I bought a paddle at a WCHA Assembly and thought I could safely take it home and break the news later...much later. It was a fancy birdseye maple hand carved $270 paddle I got at auction ( for a good cause of course). I was planning on using that as an excuse.
I used a credit card. Paul Smiths ( the venue) has awful wi fi and I had forgotten he was notified of every use of that card.
I pull into the driveway at home the next day and his first words were ( and not in an unkind way): So what did you spend $270 on at the Assembly?
I bought a paddle at a WCHA Assembly and thought I could safely take it home and break the news later...much later. It was a fancy birdseye maple hand carved $270 paddle I got at auction ( for a good cause of course). I was planning on using that as an excuse.
I used a credit card. Paul Smiths ( the venue) has awful wi fi and I had forgotten he was notified of every use of that card.
I pull into the driveway at home the next day and his first words were ( and not in an unkind way): So what did you spend $270 on at the Assembly?
.....forgot about that new 12gauge pump.......
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