"You've been stranded for 4 days in the Canadian Bush and don't know how much longer you can hold out. Thank goodness you've had a the Ripster hanging from your belt. Handling normal knife duties with aplomb the mirror surface was also easily disinfected with your second to last swallow of whiskey, the last used by you to dull the pain, and smoothly lanced the wound on your thigh,allowing you to remove the shrapnel left over from the tree that crashed onto your tent in the middle of a cloudburst. Hovering on the edge of consciousness you suddenly realize that what you thought was just a buzzing in your ears is really the drone of an approaching float plane. With your last remaining strength you drag yourself to the shoreline, pull the Ripster from his sheath, and try to reflect the sun's rays back to the pilot. Just when you've given up hope you see the plane circle, wag it's wings, and line up into the wind for a landing. What a life and what a knife!"
"You've been stranded for 4 days in the Canadian Bush and don't know how much longer you can hold out. No phone, no Facebook, and no video games. This is your longest solo to date and you hope you can make it back to the boat ramp this evening. It already sprinkled for one whole afternoon and now the temperature has dropped to 60 degrees. Chilled but determined you push on and as you load up the gear and start your 30 minute drive back to Toronto you start thinking of the fun you'll have that evening with your friends at the local hipster bar. You'll show up wearing plaid, your hair slightly disarrayed and with four days of patchy stubble. Of course The Ripster will still be on your belt and with his ironically bejeweled sheath and modern looking satin finish he'll complete the look and impress the ladies as you tell your tales of conquering the wilderness over the holiday weekend. The Ripster: a Lumbersexuals best friend and wingman."
