• Happy Caesar Crosses the Rubicon (49 BC)! "alea iacta est" 🎲

The MacGrady Special, a Unique Paddle Design

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Eventually and asymptotically the length of the paddles will become a singularity, heretofore believed only to exist at the center of black holes and the Big Bang.

Glenn’s mention of a paddle making curve that tends toward zero saw me inspired, and jumping ahead to create something special in his honor.

Incorporating a unique pass-through blade design, to easy strain on aging muscles, and a tee-grip for boldly paddling whitewater. Durable but relatively lightweight, only 15oz.

I have not yet epoxied it, so there is still time to make design suggestions toward achieving further asymptoticallity.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you something completely new in paddle design.

The MacGrady Special:
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P5140003 by Mike McCrea, on Flickr
 
I'm honored, but will immediately file an intellectual property infringement and privacy invasion lawsuit in the Supreme Court of Baltimore unless I get a 35% royalty on each paddle sold under my name.

Additionally, I demand this asymmetrical wooden grip be appended, as they are all the rage in Scotland, especially for the Lilliputian paddles needed to properly control a beer cooler canoe.

DSC_0627.png?auto=format&fit=max&w=1000.png

On second thought, I probably won't file in Baltimore, as the chances of emerging alive from that city are too low.
 
I'm honored, but will immediately file an intellectual property infringement and privacy invasion lawsuit in the Supreme Court of Baltimore unless I get a 35% royalty on each paddle sold under my name.

No need for litigation. I am happy to offer you 50% of each MacGrady Special sold. Let’s see, 50% of zero. . . . .


On second thought, I probably won't file in Baltimore, as the chances of emerging alive from that city are too low.

I got out alive, despite spending 35 years in University buildings mere blocks from where the series “The Corner” was set (corner of W. Fayette and Monroe).

But that was enough, I’m never going back.
 
With considerations of the depicted McCrea construct, I believe I am reminded of a talk I attended years past, given by the boat and paddle maker Dave Snyder, wherein he described the overall effect he strived for in his paddle creations was "bland." Michael, I believe you have sawed your way into Dave's eureka


"I got out alive, despite spending 35 years in University buildings mere blocks from where the series “The Corner” was set (corner of W. Fayette and Monroe)."

"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it." (No Bones about it!)

"But that was enough, I’m never going back."

Never say never, Michael. I've got a lovely little alley corner along W. Baltimore, just east of Monroe, where distribution of your ashes from an empty Old Crow bottle would be ever so lovely.

Yours truly,
The Walking Dead Duckhead
(33 years surveying, not in ramshackle-yet-cushy University halls, but on every unimaginable corner of Baltimore, including your aforesaid)
 
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